Crash boom bang

"CRASH BOOM BANG!!!!"

That's the sounds I expected to hear when a life shatters. Not in my case. For me there was silence. Nothing.

I remember sitting at the Doctor's office, late in the evening, seeing his mouth move but hearing absolutely nothing but complete silence! Mamacarcinoma-I knew what it means.

BREASTCANCER

How did I get here? How did this happen?

A few weeks before that I felt a lump during my self-exam. At 27, anybody will tell you "a lump doesn't mean anything" which is why I only told my husband about it. However, I had a really bad feeling about it, which is why I went to see said Doctor. A fine needle biopsy came back "suspicious"and the mammogram did not show much, which is why a deep tissue biopsy was taken....the result "not very good, Mrs. S.".

When I left work I had tried to prepare myself for this moment. "You will not cry! You will be strong!" is what I told myself. Reality was different. I was not prepared to hear that I have cancer, and now I was sitting there, still, unable to think or speak.

M. and I left the Doctor's office, he took my hand, silence. Neither of us was able to speak. We just walked. Went home to call our family and tell them the news.

"I have breastcancer!"

"What? You mean you have a lump? That could be anything!"

"No, it is sure. I have breastcancer"

"Silence"

"I love you"

"Silence"

What do you say in this moment? I am still unsure! I don't know! I suppose there is no right or wrong thing to say!