Disappointment

It is very sad and hurtful to know that my husband's friends, my sisters friends, my friends that I have known only for five or less years, care a million times more than some of the friends of mine that I grew up with. Don't get me wrong, I 100% appreciate and love my US friends and those that I have only known for a short time, my sister's and my husband's friends! It is just that I missed my old friends so much while I was in the States, wanted nothing but to re-connect with them when I moved back to Germany, and needed them in the past nine months while I fought this battle of my life!

It has not been all of my old friends, but some. I am so thankful for every single one of my friends that stood by my side, send me encouragement, talked to me, met me for coffee, came by for dinner, went for walks with me, cared about me and my struggle....I am, however, equally hurt by those that never even bothered to give me a call, no less visit me while I was in the hospital or stuck at home as a chemo monster!

I am very hurt by their lack of interest. Yes, I fought for my life. And while I may have never really shown it, I struggled, it was hard, I was scared, I was weak, it was horrible, and lonely....and I really needed all the help I could get. It hurts to realize that somebody you care about so much, just really does not give a shit!

Yes, I am hurt. Very much so. This experience sucks as it is, but it sucked that much more to realize how little these particular people care....Whatever!

P.S: Just as I am writing this, my neighbor, whom I have no connection with, other than us living in the same building, brought me a plant because she wanted to congratulate me ro my new life....ahhhh I want to just throw up, but instead I will face this stupid stupid day, and smile!